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tears

Pain... of a mental variety

Posted by lunaripyros on 2007.02.09 at 20:44
Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Yikes...

School goes a pace. The math class is easier then I thought which is making me regret cutting a class so I would have extra time for it. The professor seemed a sweet heart, I told her about my medical problems and that things may or may not come up and she was very good about it. My other proffesors took it well too and promised to work with me if anything came up.

Till this week, suddenly my math professor is a hard ass, I have a doctors appiontment I scheduled over a month and a half ago that conflicts with her class, then a week before she decideds to shcedule a test that day. I try to talk to her reschedule the test for anouther time, literally anything that would be convent for her. Becuase I can't reschedule the appiontment. This doctor is only in once a month and it's always a Thuresday, and I had taken the last slot on his schedule when I scheduled. And my Proffessor? Absolutly no help, according to her I'm there to take the test of I get a zero.

So I went to my Disabilities Cordinator and explained it all agian. She doresn't schedule her tests ahead of time, the only tests with set dates are the midterm and final. I couldn't have known nor did I shcedule such a conflict on purpose. So he e-mails her, and I'm allowed to take the test in his office the day before. Fine great! The teacher reminds me rudely and coldly that this is a one time deal.

Then I show up for the test and my disabilities cordinator also tells me coldly this is a one time deal I better never make an appiontment over one of her tests agian... I point out that all but two of her tests are not prescheduled. He then grumply replies that I should then never schedule anything in any way to conflict with her class. I stare at him for a moment... "So should I switch docotors just for her even though this is a great doctor." He hurries me along and doesn't really reply. I head off to take more Ibprofen and see a few more doctors fighting through the starting pains of my period.

By 3 I'm in so much pain I cannot any longer drive myself to appiontments. By 5 I put on the heavy duty pain killer patch. By thuresday morning I'm in so much pain I cannot walk, I have a headache so bad i cannot see straight, and I'm trying desperatly not to puke. (( I fight I evebtualy lost)) There is no way I'm gonna walk across town for that damb appiontment. Fuck! So I call, maybe the doctor and I can go over stuff over the phone? ...I wish, apparently if I don't come to him.. no appiontment... Fuck these stuck up people are killing me. He's a fucking shrink, what can he do in the office that he cant do over the phone? We where just going to discuss how the changed he made last appiontment to my meds where going... I could sign all the paper work next time I was in so he culd get paid... I mean shit!

This also means no paper work from the office to take to my disabilities Cordinator, nor something with a professional signature explaining that I wasn't lying about the fucking once a month availability shit. The lady in the office offers to reschedule me with anouther doctor so I will not have to wait so long for an appiontment... Just so happens to be a doctor that I've made it plan like 8 times that I will not see because I do not like her.

All this trouble and for what??? I wish that doctor or that pissy secretary could have seen me sitting there nearl;y in tears yesterday. Or that my professor or my disabilities cordinator could have seen me wincing a nd swearing and trying not to cry as I was driven to my last two doctors appiontments of the day.

You know that proffessor had the balls to say some pretty personal shit. " I'm sorry Michelle but that's just how it is. If this where a job and you where out of sick days you'd just have to take a day with out pay..." I interupt, "That's why I'm not working right now." She looks at me. "Well then maybe you have some decisions to make, maybe you shouldn't be in school.." I cut her off agian with a blank stare..." Excuse me?" Blink blink, she just stares. I speak as I walk away from her. "Well I'm glad I'm not you, because I have no intention of giving up and letting my illness take over my life." I say nothing else and walk away, I don't need to piss her off any more then going over her head to my Disabilities cordinator was going to. What I really wanted to say? ... "Well thank the gods this isn't a real job and I pay you!"

I mean on one hand I understand where she's coming from, if I missed class because of a hangover or because I thought I had somthing better to do... or any number of the lame excuses college students use, I wouldn't expect he to allow me to make up the test. What I don't get is her attitude with me, I do all my homework, I take excellent notes, I ask lots of questions. I've only missed one class and called and asked about the homework and had it done on time. What more could this woman want? I get the impression she thinks I need to straighten out my priorities. What she doesn't get is that my priorities are perfectly straight. My health first, school second, and everything else after, unless it's a life or death emergancy involving myt family or a few of my closest friends. I think my priorities are absoluty fine. She only 30ish, ya know give or take 5 years, which is rather young for a college professor. Maybe she has some experience with teaching high school. But she definatly hasn't been teaching college long, she's still too controling. Some of the kids on campus may need to be treated like brainless high schoolers, most of them infact. But not me, I've worked for a living, I've maintaned my own home for 8 years, and mommy and daddy certaintly aren't paying for my schooling and my acar and my phone. Infact I'm lucky enough to get grants(though honestly I'd gladly give them up to be healthy agian), a friend pays for my phone for me, and I don't have a car- I take the bus. So I don't need to be treated like an irrsponcible idiot who knows nothing about the world, I probably know a bit more about it then the god dam teacher does. HEH... you know I bet if i was a single mom and had to do something pertaining to my kids she probably wouldn't give me a hard time. I find the thought amusing because having children is still a chioce (( it takes two to tango)) where as me being sick and having to see doctors isn't. Fucking people, maybe I'm not the one with fucked up priorities.

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