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I am new to you

Posted by sinster_siren on 2007.03.15 at 15:39
Hello everyone, my name is Jennifer. I am 31 years old and have endometriosis.  Although I have not been formally diagnosed with it, I have ALL the symptoms and more.  My mother, who is a nurse, has it and she is 100% certain I do as well. 
To give you all a brief history,  I have never have a regular constant period. I went one year without having one at all. But it has steadily progressed worse and worse. 
Some years ago, I was taken to the emergency room cause I had lost consciousness from too much bleeding. I was passing huge clots and with it a LOT of blood.  This has happened to me twice,  the really really bad ones anyway.  They took blood tests and the doctor told me I didn't have a miscarriage. And because I had no insurance, they only gave me one month supply of BC!
Every month I bleed so bad and so painfully, that I can't stand straight. The pain is dibilitating and crippling and almost more then I can stand. Its a miracle I haven't overdosed.  I pass clots every month with it too.  And one of the worst parts of it all, is that I feel like I am sitting solely on my uterus. It feels that swollen.  I am convinced I probably have cysts out the gazoo on my overies but as I have no insurance, I have no chance in finding out (much less, getting taken care of.).  I have pretty much given up hope of ever having children, tho I adore them greatly and know I would make a wonderful mother.  Thank God I have had my own mother, who has gone thru the same things as me, who can empathize and sympathize with me and offer me some comfort.  Its always good to have someone there who understands and knows whats it like. 
For my own mother, it is truely a miracle that she had us.  Three doctors told her she could not have children. And she almost died twice from 2 tubal pregnancies, especially on her last one, after she had my brother. Thank God I didn't lose her. 
So you see, this is why I believe i have it.  If I am wrong, then I would be very surprised and worried, because something is wrong!!!  Oh, and I also bleed inbetween too, and thats been happening to me for about the past 2 or 3 years.  I would take BC but the last time I did that, it screw up my hormones so bad, that I cried all the time, litterally.  So either way, I am screwed. 

I am on it right now and I am soooo tired. So incredibly tired and worn out. I feel like someone ran me over a dozen times. I've taken as much pain meds as I dare to kill the pain.  When I don't, it shoots down my legs and back. I can't stand or walk for long, otherwise I get nauseous and start having these kinds of pains where it feels like someone is stabbing me in the ovaries and uterus.  its insane.   I'm about to go lay down but I wanted/needed a community to join who understands and can possibly empathize with me, while we all go thru this together.

I wrote a peom about endo if anyone would like to read it sometime, let me know.  take care all and God bless

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